The End

Charming and I went out to dinner tonight, to celebrate the good news I got from my doc this afternoon (yeay, I don't have to have a hysterectomy, according to my most recent biopsy). We went out, enjoyed a good meal, had good conversation and a few drinks.

Then, my mother called. My mom and I are soft-hearted for animals, and she'd just been made aware of a kill shelter in TN that is looking for homes for 20 dogs. They only have 12 cages, so at the end of the month, the remaining dogs will be put to sleep. I spoke to her on the car ride home, telling her I'd raise awareness among my Facebook network and see if I could help find some homes.

Charming, who'd had too much to drink, was not driving cautiously. I told him, as my cell phone died, that I was concerned about his ability to drive home, and suggested he pull over and we call a cab. He responded my getting agitated and speeding up, telling me he was going to continue to drive around rather than heading home. When I insisted that he head home, he pulled into the entrance of a neighborhood, more than 2 miles from my home, and shoved me out of his truck, leaving me with a dead cell phone and a long, breezy/chilly walk home.

Luckily, a police officer saw me crying on my way home and stopped. He advised that I file domestic battery charges against him, because he noticed a bruise on my arm where Charming had shoved me out of his vehicle.

This isn't the first such fight, but it's certainly the last. I deserve better than this.

Commitment

Had dinner night tonight, and talked to Charming about commitment. He thinks that we should spend another year getting to know each other before making a commitment. I figure, if we're going to spend the next year together, there should be a commitment.

I wonder - when did men decide that marriage wasn't a necessity? And is it our fault? Is this one of the negative side effects of the Women's Lib movement?

Date Night - Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Last night, Charming took me to the Hard Rock Casino for an afternoon at the tables and an evening of Billy Joel! The day was awesome, even if I just broke even and didn't win any money (I'm a very conservative gambler, so while I don't lose a lot, I don't win a lot, either). The show was amazing - really a once in a lifetime opportunity to see such a musical legend.

When I got home, I read more of the great feedback/advice in the CSMChat.com Forum, and now that I've had some time to think, I want to put out some thoughts on date nights, and ask for your feedback.

Charming has agreed that we will be having adult time and "date nights" once Casey comes out to stay with us. I wonder, however, how they will differ from our current date nights, what I should expect/demand from him, and what other CSMs out there have experienced.

I've read in a lot of places that once a week is reasonable for adult time (although I do plan on going out more often, as I have commitments with coworkers and friends). Our situation is a bit difficult, since she'll be joining us clear across the country from anyone we know who could babysit her (her family, grandparents, bio mom, etc), and I can't ask my friends to sit for her - the only friend I have with a child (he's 4) does not like Casey because the one time Casey met her son, she bullied and pushed him (he was 3 at the time, Casey was 12).

If we have to pay a sitter, who should be responsible for that?

I've also read that it's important for Charming to spend alone time with his daughter - but how often should he be doing that? Additionally - does that mean that I have to find something to do and stay away from my home, or is it reasonable to expect that during that "alone time" - if they don't want me around that he will take her elsewhere? I feel as though my being asked to stay away from the house would be inappropriate - but I welcome thoughts.