Storm on the Horizon.

As the silence about his past continued, so did his family meetings and discussions about how best to handle his daughter. It was discussed at length whether or not she should move to Florida to be with him, whether or not he should file for custody of her. But the only discussion I heard was what drifted my way from the next room. When I finally was upset enough to confront him about it and tell him that it would be nice to be included in this discussion, his response was, "She's my daughter and she needs her father. It's a family matter." Case closed. That simple.

Resentment was continuing to fester with me. I have never in my life felt so torn - - I CANT be mad at him. He's right, it is his daughter and he does need to do what's best for her. But - it's my life, too, that would be altered - - having a child moving into our home when we were only just getting to know each other was a lot to ask, even considering the circumstances. I hadn't had a child at 20. I had been responsible and remained single and without children so that I could enjoy my 20s and have a child when I was ready to settle down and mature and financially secure enough to do the best damned job a parent ever has in raising him or her.

I started getting scared. I didn't think I could deal with having this person in my house. I'd overheard phone conversations he'd have with his sister - - in one case, his sister called him furious because she'd had an argument with the Ex on the phone (the Ex demanded that the sister babysit for her, and the sister hadn't been able to, so the Ex turned to angry words and hung up on her). The sister had called her back and told her she'd been inappropriate and that she should apologize. After that call, Casey had called HER and called her names, screamed at her and apparently shown her no respect. I heard Charming tell his sister, she's spoiled. Charming's mother called and forwarded an email that Casey had sent HER (she was on vacation at the time) demanding that the sister apologize, threatening the mother and carrying on like...well, a spoiled brat. I definitely knew I couldn't deal with that.

Right about now, it was planned that she would come out and stay for an indeterminate length during the summer - and I started having anxiety. Charming was barely making ends meet with his consulting work, and sending back child support to the Ex every month (which meant I had to cover more than my share of the bills). That made me angry. His reasoning was that I made more money than he did, so I should have to pay more. My reasoning was, he should be able to support himself. We weren't getting engaged, we certainly weren't getting married, and in my opinion, covering his bills so that he could send money back to the Ex - who doesn't work and is apparently on disability because she doesn't want to work - is tantamount to ME paying his child support.

We began fighting. I couldn't deal with the thought of having a little monster in my house (I had nightmares often) and being completely outnumbered without a say as to how my house ran (Charming has a horrible case of DDS - Divorced Dad Syndrome - Casey walked all over him, got everything she wanted, and apparently was quite manipulative of everyone else in her family.). I still hadn't met this little girl, and no one had discussed plans with me. I didn't know when anyone was coming, or who was coming (it went from being his daughter to his entire family, then back and forth).

My hours at work were getting longer and longer, and the stress of work was piling on. We were planning for a major product release and as the marketing manager, it was my job to make sure that everything went off smoothly. Meanwhile, Charming was working part-time, enjoying the beach, and doing nothing extra to be sure he'd be in good financial shape if and when his daughter came out, so he could keep to all the plans he'd made - including trips to the Keys and Disney World.

I started to get sick. Horrible abdominal cramps, so much pain that I could barely get out of bed. I didn't want to go to the doctor - I've had "female problems" since I was 13, and I thought that this was an extension of the PMDD that I suffer combined with my stress. Finally, though, Charming convinced me it was time to seek help, and took me to the emergency room. There, I got the shock of my life. After a number of tests, a doctor came into my room and told me that not only did I have 3 fibroid tumors and that my right ovary was covered in cysts, but he claimed that my left falopian tube was completely blocked and I had something called a hydrosalpinx - a fluid filled falopian tube that would prevent any eggs from getting through. My fertility was extremely compromised and getting pregnant would be a challenge.

I was devastated.